Stream of Consciousness

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  Throwback Thursday -- taken about June of last year
  
• I had my postpartum visit with my OB earlier this week.  With Finn in daycare still due to $$ in my FSA account, I took Fish.  (Just quickly, our hospital has an on-call OB.  When you go into labor, you get one of the 25+ OBs on our side of the city.  I was lucky enough to have my OB deliver Finn.  And I was only 8 hours away from having him deliver Fish.  If only, he didn't come so fast...  But he came and visited me in postpartum during a lull in his deliveries.)  Of course, Fish wasn't cooperating and crying.  But my OB is so wonderful that he took Fish out of his carseat and walked him around his offices while I was getting dressed.  Is it weird that I'm really sad that I'm not going to be seeing him again until next year?  In fact, I told him that I was sad I wasn't going to be seeing him on a monthly or weekly basis anymore.  And I told him that I just might make an appointment to visit him during the next 12 months.  I'm really going to miss seeing him so frequently.
• I have started exercising on Monday (today is Thursday) and I've already lost 2 pounds!  I didn't work out on Tuesday due to Fish's toe situation.  My ultimate goal is going to be to work out before the kids gets up in the morning.  But right now with Toegate, he is up daily at around 3pm and usually really fussy & sleeping lightly until about 7am.  Eventually he is going to be sleeping in the morning and I hope to work out at 6am, so that I can shower & get ready while E is still home.  I'm also hoping for the weather to warm so we can get out and walk the dog and kids daily which will help get me moving.  My initial goal weight is only 15 pounds away (which is my pre-pregnancy with Fish weight), which will get me back into my old clothes.  My ultimate goal weight is 10 lighter than that.  And I'll continue to work towards that after I have reached my initial goal.

 

Throwback Thursday -- taken about June of last year

• I'm still back and forth about staying at home or returning to work.  I've decided that I'm going to make a pro/con list for each and hope that subconsciously I am leaning one way.  I think that seeing my return to work date on our household calendar really shocked me and made me realize that I only have four weeks left.  Womp womp.
• I've forgotten what some of the parts of my house look like because it seems like forever since I've been in those rooms.  I used to clean every section of my house at least once a week.  Ha!  There are things that haven't been cleaned in MONTHS!  Once I got to the part of pregnancy where I was too huge to bend over, all the cleaning stopped.  Once Fish gets big enough to sit in a bumbo and entertain himself, I'll be doing some serious deep cleaning.  If I stay home, I've already thought of all the projects that I have mentally listed that I wanted to finish this summer.

 

Throwback Thursday -- June of last year

One of my favorite videos of all time 

• One of those projects?  I want to have my own garden.  Am I crazy?  Absolutely!  Not only due to the time needed to tend the garden but also for the herd of deer that live in our neighborhood.  I haven't figured out how to keep out the deer, squirrels, woodchucks, skunks, opossums, and raccoons yet.  But with the way that this gosh-darn spring is going, I'll have PLENTY of time to think about it as I won't be able to plant anything for months yet.
• I've also forgotten what it's like to turn up the music in the kitchen, get a glass of wine and just dance to crazy music.  Finorah and I used to do it all the time.  I mean, hell... How could we forget this video?

 

Throwback Thursday -- June of last year

One of my favorite videos of all time

Postpartum Bumpdate: 6 weeks

 

So, here we are... Six weeks postpartum...  Still not there yet...  But I've come a long way, baby!  As evidenced by the photo below, which was taken the day before I delivered.

I have lost 29 pounds of my 47, which leaves me 18 pounds still to go.  Not too shabby.  Unfortunately, those 18 pounds sit square on my gut, hips, and ass.  And if anyone cares, those are the key places that used to fit into a pair of jeans.  I came to that HUGE revelation yesterday as I was trying on some pre-pregnancy jeans.  Talk about deflating.  I also realized yesterday that in my pre-pregnacy days, I was a hussy.  Why you might ask?  Because I actually wore jeans that fit me perfectly and snug to my body.  I don't own a single pair of pants that are a size bigger or a pair of pants that were baggy on me.  Therefore, yesterday at six and a half weeks postpartum, I had to wear a pair of maternity pants to my doctor's appointment.  (Womp, womp.  Enter sad trombone here.)  But as I keep reminding myself, it took 9 months to put ON the weight and I shouldn't be surprised if it takes 9 months to take OFF the weight. (Even though I'm secretly hoping that it will all be gone in the next six weeks...)

My weight loss is starting to pick up again, because I'm realizing that I can't eat like I'm pregnant anymore.  I've started logging my food in the My Fitness Pal app, just to help me realize how much crap I'm stuffing in my face during the day.  I have a mini-goal of losing another 2 pounds before my postpartum appointment with Emery next week.

I am also happy to report that my face appears to be coming back into it's own.  Everyone knows about pregnancy fat face, which I had in full effect at the end of my pregnancy.  And everyone knows about postpartum tired face.  In fact, the scientist told me during my hayday of tired face that I looked ten years older!  If bags under my eyes could have killed, he would have been stabbed 46 times in his un-dark-circled eyes.  Due to the fact that Fish is starting to sleep a little more at night, I'm able to not feel so exhausted during the day and the dark circles are starting to fade.  Hallelujah!

On a sad note?  My hair is starting to fall out.  My beautiful pregnancy hair is starting to end up in the shower drain and on my coat.  I'm thinking that to "celebrate", I need to make a hair appointment have a trim and a color.  I've had my natural hair color for the last three years and I think it's time for a rejuvenation...  And maybe I should throw in a pedicure and a massage while I'm being selfish... 

Returning from hiatus...

Two trailer park girls go 'round the outside...  'Round the outside... 'Round the outside...

So I've been gone for a while.  Long enough to grow a baby, gain 47 pounds and pop that baby out.  And that baby literally popped out!  But now I'm back (hopefully to stay).

This post is going to be short and sweet -- as I have a screaming baby in the background.  But just to reiterate regarding the title of the blog -- nobody died.  It's a play on words.  I sometimes classify myself as a widow because the Scientist works some pretty long hours that makes me feel like a widow sometimes.

This place is going to be more about my stories, a place to find myself back after being stretched and pulled by two little bundles of snot, poop and joy.  My stupid humor.  My silly adventures.  And a place to be held accountable for my myriad of goals, which we'll dig into later in the week.